SJI Has Room for More Columnists

5 Comments

  1. If I do this, I want to triple dip and have a disability retirement just like Pete Constant. 

    A annual salary of $362,000 a year with yearly 20% pay increases, Plus I would like a car allowance, first class airline ticket-five star hotel allowance for vacations, workers comp. benefits, full medical and dental, gym membership-massage and grooming allowance for myself and my entire family for life. 

    Further I would like a “out of this world” severance package, just in case things don’t work out… Just like Dan Fenton got.  This way I can supplement my Social Security and Medicare. 

    Oops!  I just reread the above article…

    I thought this was for an open City Council Seat?  I’m sorry about that, but I may still be interested in the above position with those stipulations.

    Thanks for the consideration

    Old Frank

  2. You realize that the economy is recovering, and potential employees have choices.  So, there are a few other things I would like to clarify before I give this position serious consideration:

    1. Is a high school diploma required?

    2. Do I need a Social Security Number for this job? Are you going to check?

    3. Is morbid obesity a disqualifier?

    4. What is the policy on tatoos and body piercings?  Is there a limit on ear lobe stretching?

    5. Can you accommodate people with disabilities?  How about tourettes and leprosy?

    6. Do you provide paternity leave? How about paid paternity leave?

    7. Is being on the FBI terrorist watch list a disqualification?

    8. Do I need to be a natural born citizen of the United States?  Is a Certificate of Live Birth sufficient proof of citizenship?

    9. Does the company cafeteria provide for ethnic specific dietary needs?  How about haggis and lutefisk?

    10. Is an enhanced pat down by the TSA considered an arrest record?

    11. Does your company have any intrusive or oppressive policies relating to personal hygiene?

    Trust but verify.

    • Doof,

      You won’t be able to write.  you don’t qualify.  surprisingly, you are qualified to be a police officer.  In fact over qualified.

      As soon as we get money to hire some back; YOU’r IN!!!