Hole in Gonzales’s Head to be Preserved

Giant Pit Offers Rare Look Into Workings of Political Mind

Following closely on the plans to save the deep pit that allows the public rare glimpses into the bowels of the Hayward Fault in Fremont, several disparate groups in San Jose have come together and vowed to raise money to preserve the giant hole that has opened in Mayor Ron Gonzales’s head.

“This is an incredibly rare opportunity to find out what makes this battered and withering mayor tick,” said Terry Cristensen, professor at SJSU and proponent of the mayoral preserve.  “It allows us to view the deep fault, rock formations and seismic activity that have visited this tortured mind.”

The chasm, located on the right side of Gonzales’s skull, represents the biggest fault in south bay politics in decades.  U.S. Geological Survey scientists have teamed with the neurosurgical department at Stanford University to document and preserve the hole so that it is more readily available to the public.

Already visitors have surpassed the annual attendance numbers of the Silicon Valley Tech Museum, HP Pavilion, and 75 years of weekly county supervisor meetings combined. On most days, dozens of buses line up, carrying hundreds of tired schoolchildren and curious teachers from cities all over the state.

According to political analysts, the point of the Mayoral Head Exhibit is twofold: to raise money for a financially ailing city and to remind people how important it is to vote.

“Not only are we getting two dollars a look from adults and one dollar from kids,” said Dan Fenton, Chairman of the Board of Team San Jose, the management firm chosen to run the exhibit, “but we are exposing people to the dangers of not voting—you may end up with a mayor with a hole in his head.”

 

 

 

21 Comments

  1. Missing as unexplainable matters often are discovered at the Winchester Mystery House.  Possibly these foreign as scattered brain waves could be listed at step 13, where the stairwell meets the ceiling- going nowhere…  or does this not matter?

  2. 2 – Don’t know what you are talking about. The law requires that public record requests be responded to within a prescribed period of times, usually 10 days. If Ronnie and gang have not responded to requests then they have violated another law.

  3. Update:

    In response to today’s blog on San Jose Inside the Mayor’s communication director David Vossbrink issued a press release clarifying that the hole in Ron Gonzales’ head is an “Infill opportunity consistent with the city’s Smart Growth policies.”

    Political consultant Rich Robinson told reporters “This whole business about the hole in the Mayor’s head proves my point. I’ve said all along people are trying to make something out of nothing.”

    Vice Mayor Cindy Chavez told a luncheon gathering of The Basket Weavers Union “I was the first to call for a resolution demanding the Mayor wear a hat in public.”

    Fellow mayoral candidate Chuck Reed issued the following statement: “I am still waiting to see the Grand Jury transcript. Perhaps then we can get the hole truth.”

    In a stunning development Silicon Valley Leadership Group CEO Carl Guardino instantly produced a poll out of his back pocket showing 53.2% of Santa Clara County residents think the hole in Gonzales’ head should be used to house a downtown BART station and affordable housing for teachers.

  4. Dear San Jose:

    The members of the city council have another cards to play if they really want to kick Gonzales out.  Walk out at the begining of the next city council meeting.  You can’t have a meeting without a quorum.  No business will be conducted until Gonzales resigns.  Such an action would be supported by the 85% or more San Jose residents who want Gonzales out.

    Pete Campbell

  5. CT Cranial Scan Report

    Patient: Ron Gonzales
    Patient Status: Out on bail

    The patient is a 55 year old male of apparent European descent suffering from a compromised cranium and brain chasm in the right hemisphere of unknown cause. During the examination the patient remained conscious, alert, and defiant (the services of a court bailiff were required to keep the patient still).

    One anomaly that was readily apparent was the thickness of the cranial vault. Measurements subsequently taken were observed to be consistent with norms found only in adult male prison populations.

    It was also noted that the patient lacks a definable neck.

    The cell tissue surrounding the chasm appears to be comprised of a structure unique to the ego, although seldom found in such enormous quantities. This discovery may explain the patient’s demonstrated delusions of grandeur and disrespect of others, not to mention his refusal to apologize for groping of Nurse Garcia’s breast.

    The possibility that this ego tissue developed as a defensive response to psychological or physical trauma must be considered.

    Despite the use of contrast dyes, not located anywhere in the brain were lobes or cell structures responsible for the conscience, honesty, remorse, guilt, humility, or loyalty.

    In conclusion, chasm and thick skull aside, the patient’s scan was consistent with findings typical of politicians, lawyers, and high-functioning serial killers.

    F. Finfan, MD

  6. John – I think Mal Content is vying for your Friday column.

    What is really ironic about this sorry episode is that Ron Gonzales is about to become the first politician, of whom I am aware, to get thrown out of office for actually KEEPING a promise. Only in San Jose.

  7. What about asking all candidates for office in November, and Norcal was giving money to Willie Brown in SF for years (and people call them naive to politics), to renounce all dealings with Norcal?

  8. Fortune, excellent post.

    A question.

    Are your e-mails from your private address, say, [email protected], subject to review, if they are sent with respect to government issues and actions.  Say, the e-mail conderned a council agenda item, and your e-mail was written from your private account, but was about the item and you are an elected official?

    Thanks

    James Rowen

  9. In late 2005, Jude Barry was able to predict the future.  Here’s a repost of his column on SJI. 

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    After serving as Bill Clinton’s chief of staff, Leon Panetta taught a course at Santa Clara University, his alma mater, about the White House.  In early 1999, I met with Panetta to get his advice on how to organize an executive level political operation since I was running a mayor’s office.  He told me something I never quite fully understood then:  he never used e-mail.

    I asked him how that was possible considering the fast pace a White House or any major political organization has to move these days.  His answer was really simple.  Your e-mail is subject to subpoena.

    I guess in a Clinton White House you worry about things like this.  But since then, as scandals big and small have unraveled in politics and business, I can see the cautious wisdom of Panetta’s practice.

    If you work in government, your e-mail is also subject to public disclosure through the freedom of information act.  Of course, e-mail is easily forwarded to places you’d never expect it to go.  So, through formal or informal channels, an embarrassing or too revealing e-mail can end up on the front page of the New York Times or the Mercury News.

    Plus, we tend to be more casual, honest, and direct in our e-mails.  This has helped many a journalist and attorney general (see Eliot Spitzer, (link)) piece together today’s scandals.

    We may see another chapter of e-mail discovery unfold locally in the next few weeks.  On October 25, the San Jose City Council, at Councilman Chuck Reed’s request, may decide to publicly release the e-mails related to the NorCal garbage contract.

    It’s the smart thing to do since the investigator will have access to these e-mails anyway and we can count on any significant messages becoming public in his report.

    We can probably count on something else. Expect the authors of these e-mails to regret that they never had a chance to sit in on Leon Panetta’s class.

  10. I read Gonzo played the race card by describing himslf a “Latino”.  Hard to believe that a man whose only knowledge of Spanish is “Teamsters huelga!” ” soborno” and ” El Mordida” can describe himself as Latino.

  11. Just read piece in “Mosaic”—a high-school newspaper project sponsored by the Murky News that put out a great edition.  In it they quote Gonzo way back when as saying “I’m not a Hispanic mayor, I’m a mayor that happens to be Hispanic,.” or words to that effect.

    Hhmm, Gonzo, gues you abandoned that line now that you can use the race card to your advantage.

    What’s this I heard about a delay in releasing Grand Jury transcripts due to some surgery for Guerra III?  he was in SJ Athletic Club this a.m.

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