David Gerard, a first-year school board trustee in Morgan Hill, might want to staple a dunce cap to his head after pulling a series of head-slapping moves in emails discovered by the Morgan Hill Times. Numerous messages show Gerard has been cozying up to community activists while insulting his board colleagues and the Morgan Hill Unified School District superintendent. In one message, Gerard disparaged former trustee Amy Porter-Jensen as “Bully PJ,” adding that she had a “big ass” and wore “slut shoes." He also used his district-provided email account to pen fictional news accounts, one of which documented Superintendent Steve Betando’s imaginary flight to Mexico with millions in district funds while palling around with a 19-year-old, drug-smuggling prostitute. The emails were made public last week, when Gerard and the rest of the seven-member board were taking part in an annual education conference in San Diego. Guess who wasn’t invited to happy hour? Reached by phone, Gerard apologized for the emails. He said he was simply trying to “cheer up” activist Rob Guynn, who was sick and depressed on his birthday, and hoped to make him “spit up in laughter.” Instead, Morgan Hill residents were spitting up their breakfast. In another email, Gerard compared an angry parent who speaks regularly at board meetings to Rosa Parks, “who refused to ride in the back of the bus!” Superintendent Betando given the role of infamous Governor George Wallace, while Gerard compared himself to the iconic Bobby Kennedy. “It’s something that I shouldn’t have written,” Gerard said. “I’m going to be raked over the coals and deserve to be.” Actually, he deserves to be recalled, but Morgan Hill residents should settle for his resignation.