Running of the Supervisors to Replace Defunct Car Race
Organizers of this summer’s downtown San Jose Grand Prix have alienated a supportive San Jose community by canceling the much-anticipated Champ Car race, citing “inflated gas prices.” A stunned city council has wasted no time though in replacing the race with a unique event combining Pamplona’s Running of the Bulls and the county’s wellness program.
The Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain has been around for centuries, but did not gain international fame or success until Ernest Hemingway wrote about it in his 1926 novel, The Sun Also Rises. Famed sports columnist Mark Purdy of the Mercury News, wants to tie that same type of romance to the Running of the Supervisors.
“People think of the County Supervisors as nice, harmful, and sedentary people, but let me assure you, they are not,” warns Purdy. ““Constantly voting on the wrong side of popular issues can make them nasty… there will be great drama involved in this historic running. I say let ‘em loose!”
Councilmembers admit the idea came from the Supervisors half hour foray into the urban jungle around the county building in the name of exercise and health…and because they couldn’t get bulls.
“Because all of the bulls from the San Fermin festival in Spain will have been slaughtered at the time of San Jose’s race,” explained one race organizer. “We had to make substitutions. Hence the politicos.”
Hundreds of thousands are expected to join the stampede, which will take place on a course in downtown that includes several bathroom breaks, lunch at the Fairmont’s Fountain restaurant, and naptime.
Political consultant Richard Robinson does not want race participants to take the dangers of running with the County Supervisors lightly “One must not minimize the inherent risks when turning the Supervisors loose on the streets of San Jose…you could be trampled, gored, or God forbid, have to speak with one of them,” he says.
Officials promise that the Supervisors will be set loose at the end of the race rather than barbarically “put down” by matadors.