If Donald Trump Wins then… A Silicon Valley Transplant’s Guide on Moving to Canada

Donald Trump’s presidential campaign shows no signs of slowing down in the wake of violent clashes between supporters and protesters, suggesting Democracy really was in need of a roundhouse to the junk—in between candidates defending their own dicks.

But not everyone seems ready to jump on the Trump train (it’s uuuuuge), advocate for the curb stomping of dissenters and Sieg Heil!

In fact, some people are dusting off an oath from the ‘W’ days, claiming they’ll move to Canada if Trump wins the race for president. For those with bags half-packed, Jay Rosenthal, a former Silicon Valley political consultant, is here to help. He’s created the helpful how-to website If Trump Then Canada.

Best known for working on Mayor Sam Liccardo’s council campaigns, and for helping lead the Chamber of Commerce’s policy and political operations under Jim Cunneen, Rosenthal is also widely believed to be the founder and original author of The Daily Fetch, the now-defunct political news aggregation and commentary site. In 2012, possibly sensing impending political doom, he moved to Toronto with his wife and family.

San Jose Inside asked Rosenthal a few questions by email about his new website, which is replete with helpful information about Canada’s healthcare system and pro-tips for blending in in a President Trump world.

San Jose Inside: Are you sure Canada is cool with this?

Canada is embracing the words atop the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Can you imagine hearing those words from President Trump?

What is the Canadian perspective on Donald Trump potentially becoming the next President of the United States?

In advance of last week’s White House State dinner for Prime Minister Trudeau, the Washington Post’s Roxanne Roberts referred to Canada as the U.S.’s little brother. Aside from the obvious condescension of that statement, we all know that at some point, the little brother inevitably becomes better looking, smarter and more well-liked than the asshole older sibling. That’s happening right now on the world stage with the ascension of Donald Trump as a credible Presidential candidate.

How does Trump compare to Rob Ford, the former crack-smoking mayor of Toronto?

To my knowledge, Donald Trump never smoked crack. But the populist, anti-intellectual, crack-pot-ery is similar. However, and this is important, Rob Ford wasn’t a racist and always came across as a likeable, jolly guy—kind of like Santa—even if completely unprepared for office and sometimes high on crack. Ask yourself, would you rather have a jolly, friendly leader that sometimes smokes crack or an angry, bigoted, neo-Nazi leader that doesn’t smoke crack? I’m taking crack smoking over the Nazism.

When you say healthcare is free in Canada, how much are we talking?

Not to get all “universal healthcare is better” on you, but…

He seems very nice and good-looking, but what's the deal with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?

Like George Bush, Prime Minister Trudeau’s father was Prime Minister. Unlike George Bush, Prime Minister Trudeau is smart, charismatic and beloved (so far) on the world stage and domestically. Oh, and this:

Rosenthal-Canadian-PM

Canada PM Justin Trudeau and a giddy Jay Rosenthal

Have there been any reports of Americans sneaking across the border? If so, how are they being treated?

Parliament just passed a resolution to treat American refugees in Canada the same way Syrian refugees are being treated in the US…Americans are currently being barred from entering certain provinces and are being badmouthed at right-wing political rallies.

Since hockey is big in Canada, can we bring along the San Jose Sharks?

You don’t need to bring the Sharks to Canada because Canada has already brought hockey to San Jose. Twelve players of the Sharks 23-man roster are from Canada. Also, the Sharks picked up goalie James Reimer from the Maple Leafs before the trade deadline. From everyone in Toronto, we say thank you and good luck!

What’s the difference between Canadian dollars and American dollars? Will they still be exchangeable after the election?

Assuming that President Donald Trump doesn’t do for the American dollar what he’s done for his business four times, the U.S. dollar is roughly 25 percent more valuable than the Loonie. Will U.S. dollars be exchangeable post-election? We shall see ...

Josh Koehn is a former managing editor for San Jose Inside and Metro Silicon Valley.

21 Comments

  1. Feel the hatred! Feel the fear and loathing! I recall the same hatred & fear when Ronald Reagan was campaigning.

    But Donald Trump isn’t the guy they want you to believe he is. This is just partisan spin.

    For one thing, people aren’t coming out of his past to badmouth Trump. Not even his ex-wives, who have certainly been offered big bucks to write a ‘tell-all’ book. So he inspires a certain amount of loyalty from the people who really know him (and that does not include the author of this article, or the links in it).

    Finally, I found this report from about 25 years ago. Can you even imaging Obama or Sanders doing what Trump did?

    http://82.221.129.208/trumpmugger.jpg

    Every other candidate with any chance of winning is part of the current problem in Washington DC. They own those problems; the tsunami of illegals flooding in, the demoralization of our military, the blind support of the corrupt UN, etc.

    I am at the point of giving a self-made billionaire, who has actually created lots of astonishing high rises, a chance to fix the country’s problems. The others will only tweak things — but nothing will really change. Is that what we want? Really?

    Finally, I love the idea of making America great again. Reagan did it. Why not The Donald?

    • Agree with you 100% Thanks for posting. FYI ………….. I’m 54 and have never voted in my life. This year I will.

  2. I agree with everything said here, EXCEPT this constant Ford-bashing! Rob and his brother Doug (who my fiance and I met in a dark alley in Toronto) are fine gentlemen! Doug was gracious, and put his cocktail and cigarette down to take a photo with us, and regretted his brother not being there. If only San Jose could attract such talent!

  3. There is no chance in hell that Canada would take 100 million dead beat liberal unless we froze them first or made them into polar bear kibble.
    I don’t remember The Donald suggesting we put up a norther wall to keep you in Josh!

  4. ‘Win baby win.’ Then, please, all you liberal Demos run for the border. You will make room for all the illegals you wanted here so badly.

    • Everyone!! Let’s create a List of Establishment Traitors for all to be aware of!! This includes:

      1) John McCain

      2) Mitt “Bitching” Romney

      3) Mark “Robo” Rubio

      4) Mitch “Mooch” McConnell

  5. Please please do move to Canada all you snarky know-it-all liberal regressive dumbocrats! Please Canada, please do us this one huge favor and open your borders to them! Please I beg you!

    And to think that I worried that even with Trump, we might not see real change. Shoot, this all but guarantees us that things will get much much better with a Trump win.

    Somebody make sure Al Sharpton knows where the nearest border crossing is located!

  6. In that case I hope Trump wins. Less traffic and lines at the movies. Less people downtown. Oh wait, they left already.

  7. Wow Josh, your hate has come to a new level!

    “Donald Trump’s presidential campaign shows no signs of slowing down in the wake of violent clashes between supporters and protesters, suggesting Democracy really was in need of a roundhouse to the junk—in between candidates defending their own dicks and Nazi posts are ok.” Do you have a SJMN tattoo?

    You block my post but I guess “Dick” is ok.

    But not everyone seems ready to jump on the Trump train (it’s usage), advocate for the curb stomping of dissenters and Sieg Heil!

    Ok, kick me off your site but H. Clinton is the biggest liar that I know of and will destroy this country. O…….. I guess I should visit my friends in CANADA, at least my taxes will be better.

    You can post what you want and block us.

    Vote Donald!

  8. I’m guessing after today today there maybe a lot of establishment Republican joining you on the train north.
    How does all that hatred of the left make me feel, It keeps me warm!

  9. > Donald Trump’s presidential campaign shows no signs of slowing down in the wake of violent clashes between supporters and protesters, suggesting Democracy really was in need of a roundhouse to the junk—in between candidates defending their own dicks.

    Still trying to figure out what the hell SJI means.

    Just what has this got to do with DISRUPTERS (not “protesters”) disrupting a political meeting?

  10. Why isn’t there a guide how to migrate south? Is the left actually racist/bigots and can only run north to another white country? After all Mexico is much closer to California’s major population centers then Canada and good for you Mexico speaks the same language that we do already. But then again don’t worry Gov Brown’s gonna build a wall around California to keep the rest of the United States out.

    • Mexico unlike the United States actual has an emigration policy that’s in effect. Only 1000-1500 people per year may immigrate, not migrate, into the country. You must be Catholic.You must speak Spanish. You must have money, enough to start a business and hire Mexican labor if you plane on working or enough money to support your self
      if you are retiring.

      So it might be that Canada would be a place to dump a bunch of Trump haters, but I keep hearing that Trump
      would be the easiest one for Hillary to beat in the general election, whats to worry about?
      Are Democrats afraid Hillary will be indited before she can pardon her self, or will the party erupt over cheating Sanders out of the nomination.

      Look on the bright side you wouldn’t want a constitutionalist like Cruse a Hispanic in the all White House would you!

  11. This is extremely irresponsible for someone to use such vulgar and foul language like this!! Love or hate someone, then do so with PROFESSIONALISM not with such childish talk like this!! Extremely disgusted with you, Josh Koehn!!

    • LUONG,

      The long-running Gallup poll, asking Americans to self-identify whether they’re Liberals or Conservatives, has kept the same ratio for decades: by about a 2 – 1 margin, Americans self-identify as Conservatives rather than being Libs.

      You can see it in the comments here. The problem is that the so-called ‘progressive’ clique has targeted the mass media, and uses it as self-serving propaganda. So it seems at times that America is a Liberal country.

      But Americans have been pushed too far, as the inexorable rise of The Donald shows. The rock has been turned over, and we see what’s really under it. The truth is that the Left believes none of the things they lecture the rest of us about. (Fen’s Law.)

      In November we will see if the average voter has been pushed too far. Even the Republican establishment is desperate with fear and loathing. They remind me of Mike Tyson’s quote:

      “Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face.”

      • The “Liberals” are anything but liberal. I am a True Liberal, someone who believes in small government, tolerance of others and individual rights and responsibilities. The so-called “Liberal” frauds who call themselves so are nothing but SOCIALIST ELITES who believe in BIG government, intolerance of others (a la Chicago thugs) and less individual rights and responsibilities.

        It is not the first time these socialist scums have hijacked our words in order to deceive us. The words “progressive”, “gay” and “liberation” fell victim to these Collectivist criminals.

        So let me ask you this: how do you get back our country on the straight and narrow?