Shocking Poll: 79 Percent of San Jose Residents Long for Gonzales Era

Most Agree Scandal-less City is “Boring”

In a recent poll commissioned by the Mercury News after a dramatic drop in subscription renewals several months ago, 79 percent of those surveyed say that without the sensational news of the scandalous Gonzales administration, there is no reason to read the paper anymore.

“I used to enjoy getting up in the morning,” said one typical respondent. “Now, San Jose is just so boring: the buses run on time, they’re trying to solve the budget deficit and the Reed Reforms are working. It sucks.”

Dr. Samuel Heckenburger, Executive Director of the Santa Clara County Suicide Prevention and Crisis Center, says that he has seen a record number of suicide attempts coinciding with the end of the Gonzales era.

“It’s strange that most of the calls for help have come from the lobbying community,” he said, “but in my professional opinion it is only temporary—all these feelings of hopelessness will blow over when the Garbagegate trial begins.”

Many people have turned to the Sharks and Warriors playoff games as a temporary distraction.

“But nothing can relieve the emptiness,” says one new sports fan. “It just doesn’t compare to hubris, ethical lapses and bribes.”

In an unrelated survey, which has no margin of error, 100 percent of sheriff deputies polled say they have cancelled their plans to get foot massages on their next trip to Las Vegas.


  1. Interesting that the plus or minus $14 million of public money spent during the Gonzales administration to bump up pay for those at the bottom of the barrel recycling trash is about the same amount, plus or minus $14 million, being spent to bump up the bottom line of the Sharks organization. The lobbyists of the Sharks apparently did a better job at managing this – with the added bonus of being able to have the Reed administration bring this forward at a time when the Sharks are in the playoffs.

  2. #1 Hence Mr. Barry Witt.  Next week, expect an article from Barry claiming the City Hall falcon cam is a terrible waste of taxpayer money: “The money being used to power the cam 24 hours a day should be used for filling potholes or feeding the homeless.”  Nice post JM IV!

  3. Mercury News Editor Blasts San Jose Inside

    San Jose (FFN)—In a strongly-worded response to allegations of declining readership, the editor of the San Jose Mercury today disputed statistics quoted by San Jose Inside in a blog on the effects of dullness in local politics.

    “That piece was, by our standards, factually inaccurate,” charged a visibly upset Susan Goldberg. “The survey cited was found to have targeted people working in private industry, to the exclusion of other groups; groups in which, our studies have shown, our paper is actually growing in influence.” Ms. Goldberg went on to make the point that, as a measure of a newspaper’s impact on the community, subscription renewal has been discredited for its bias against both the poor and the illiterate.

    “It is the opinion of many in journalism that subscription renewal is a hate statistic.”

    When asked to identify those groups in which readership is up, Ms. Goldberg stated, “Well, my understanding is that we are very popular in local jails, where inmates have come to realize the level of commitment we have to portraying them sympathetically as well as condemning the judicial system. Our readership is also at an all-time high amongst minorities employed by taxpayer-funded enterprises, people suing the government, and those in the activist community working to decriminalize identity-theft and dismantle the Border Patrol.”

    Though the harshest criticism of the blog did come from the Mercury News, there were several others who thought the piece went too far.

    This, from KGO’s Ronn Owens: “Frankly, I thought it irresponsible to print Dr. Heckenburger’s speculation of a causal relationship between the end of the Gonzales era and a spike in suicide attempts. I mean, come on! Some of that spike—hell, maybe all of it—certainly had something to do with Sanjaya being voted off.”

    This, from Dr. Paul Bunion, podiatrist: “I was disturbed by the author’s condescending attitude towards foot problems, and especially how they impact people in a profession known to suffer such problems. My word, has he no familiarity with the term flatfoot?”

    Following up on Dr. Bunion’s comment, this reporter contacted Santa Clara County Sheriff Laurie Smith and asked her if foot massage is part of her regular pain-management routine. “Not as often as I would like,” she responded. “I think it’s been a month or more—but it was good one, as I remember it. Happy ending and all.” Surprised by her candor, I pressed for details. “Oh, I remember it well,” she explained, “after a nice, long foot massage my husband ended it very happily by going into the kitchen and making dinner.”

  4. Or, how about a Grand Prix official who wants to move more palm trees for his 3 day exhaust-fest? Is the city finally showing some wisdom? Will they actually tell him to stuff it? Stay tuned for this and more.

  5. Dear John:

    The entire broadcast world and the MERC devoted a lot of attention to Bush making a fool of himself trying to dance and beat the drum.  Let Leno and Letterman poke fun at Bush.  What was not covered was the anti-malaria efforts for Africa (a very serious issue) which was the reason the dancers and musicians were at the event.

    See, this is part of our problem…the press at every level is catering to the lowest common denominator.  We’re becoming a nation of uninformed fools.  (If you want to see a real news broadcast, tune into the BBC on KQED).

    Pete Campbell

    p.s.  How much did the rotunda cost?

  6. BBC seeks to suppress bias report,7340,L-3319064,00.html

    Hero’s tale is ‘too positive’ for the BBC

    Bush as Hitler poster in BBC newsroom

    As for PBS – get rid of all political and social justice programming and stick to science, arts, and history.

    Why should my tax dollars underwrite Frontline garbage and Moyer’s liberal crackpipe reporting?

  7. I think the excitment will return when the union finally figures that they have no power at city hall anymore.  The gardening will be done by non union reasonably priced workers who don’t want to get a salary, retirement, full medical benifits and also paid vacations, along with college tuition paid by taxpayers for their kids.  The whole union thing is so overblown with benefits it is starting to equal the benifits and slush funds of congress.

  8. HJ #11—I was just reminded of something I had forgotten—SJ passed a living wage ordinance for people who do work for the city, even if not city employees.  The current council would have to repeal that—hardly likely.

    But using outside folks would stanch the increase in pension liabilities for city employees.

  9. 11—Although I am not a big fan of the Labor grip on City Hall, I do find your comment about “college tuition paid by taxpayers…” a bit curious. Do you have any details?? Are you saying there are City employees who get this perk? I’ve never heard that.

  10. #11 HJ
      I doubt that workers do not want to be fully compensated, as you suggest.  However, if we lower the bar on how we compensate gardeners or other maintenance workers, of course there will be people willing to do the job.  I believe we should not be so arrogant and selfish as to hold to a lower standard the needs of blue collar workers simply because of the kind of work they do.  The bottom line is that if someone is willing to put in an honest days work, they should expect reasonable compensation, which should include a package with health and retirement benefits.  Or, would you suggest that janitorial and maintenance workers do not deserve the dignity to work and be able to provide the basic needs of their families?