Pandori Accused of Blood Doping

Councilwomen Say Debate Performances Too Good

During a Wednesday press conference, San Jose City Council Members Nora Campos and Nancy Pyle once again grabbed headlines when they accused mayoral candidate David Pandori of engaging in the practice of blood doping before several debates in which his performances seemed “exceptional.”

The alleged “smoking gun” was a picture of Mr. Pandori during one of the debates that showed a mysterious, hypodermic needle-shaped bulge under his suit jacket.  “We believe it is obvious from the photos,” said Ms. Pyle, “that Mr. Pandori has on several occasions during mayoral debates, used illicit methods to boost his red blood-cell supply allowing him to express his thoughts clearer and without fatigue.”

“He lapped the field,” said Jim Lehrer of The NewsHour on PBS and mayoral debate moderator.  “Put a bat in his hand and I’ll bet he hits one into McCovey Cove.”

According to San Jose State Political Professor Terry Christensen, this type of performance enhancing procedure has been popular with endurance cyclists, but is by no means new to politics.  “Oratorical steroids and political blood doping have been around for decades,” he conceded.  “President Bush has used them for years.  But the side effects are damaging - they include train-of-thought deterioration, lack of clarity, fumbled articulation and prolonged erections.”

Although there is no concrete evidence that Pandori injected himself with erythropoietin, the hormone that stimulates red blood-cell production, many believe that some sort of stimulants were used.

“All this is nonsense,” says David Pandori.  “The only thing unusual about my methods is that they require hard work – I thoroughly study the issues, I show up for the debates and I train rigorously by giving long speeches in high altitudes.”

41 Comments

  1. John you’ve set off the weekend in fine form.  I wonder now how many of our esteemed political advisors will take these accusations as fact and gospel and begin investigations into their veracity.  I’m sure that good old RC and RR will grab this and will comment on it.

  2. It’s too late. A CamposPyle memo is already being written by Cindy’s camp. Expect another incoherent reading of the memo by Campos followed by nothing from Pyle. The memo will make unsubtantiated allegations and will be followed by Campos stomping her feet and saying “I did not” when asked why she wanted an investigation.
    Cindy will be seen in the background peeling off her latex gloves. Pyle will stand there and nod.
    Welcome to San Jose—America’s 10th largest city. Makes you wonder how bad #1 is.

  3. The Mercury News got it right twice in a row! First Sam, now Pete!

    Based omn their headline, “Voters can add balance to council” it sounds like they read SJI too.

  4. It wouldn’t surprise me that David is using the juice.  You have to admit his constant fighting, feuding, arrogance, and disregard toward the individual are definitely signs of long-term use.  And given his pedantic mind-set towards inconsequential issues…I don’t think it’s only his gonads that are shrinking.  I’m glad I’m not the only one that has had these suspicions.

  5. Damn John, you released the story too soon.

    The Chavez campaign brain trust was saving this for the last minute hit piece.

    Now they have to go with Option #2: Pandori Cheats At Miniature Golf.

  6. #5, The Merc also did something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.  There was a shaded box at the top of that endorsement lamenting the fact that Judy Chirco has no serious competition in District 9 and admonishing her for non-performance.  This district has had do-nothing leadership since Jim Beall was on the Council and Chirco is continuing his legacy.  I’m voting against her but it will be in vain. 

    Just got a mailer from Ms. Chirco, the first thing I’ve ever received since she’s been on the Council, and she’s endorsing Linda LeZotte for supervisor.  Guess I’m voting for Yeager for sure now.  If I were Linda I would have asked Chirco NOT to send that mailer.

  7. A fitting post for the week.

    This blog is amusing but hardly an inside view.  Rather than a falcon cam, we need the T18 cam.  It might capture the CM parts left on the floor – an arm here, a leg there.  Maybe with the T18 cam, Nora’s and Nancy’s coaching would be a little more obvious.  You can guess which window we should mount it outside of.

    Nuff said…back to “work”.

  8. – Breaking News –

    FF News has learned that renowned local defense attorney Ken Robinson will today file a new appeal seeking to have overturned the ticket-fixing conviction of his client, former judge William Danser. The move was believed inspired by this morning’s report at SanJoseInside that Danser prosecutor and current San Jose mayoral candidate David Pandori is rumored to be using performance-enhancing drugs.

    “This time we’ve got ‘em,” boasted the suddenly reenergized Robinson. “I knew something wasn’t right… I mean, how else could a low-paid public servant beat me in court? C’mon. I’m in there, got my big league fastball working, hittin’ my spots, and baby-faced Mr. Tee-ball keeps wackin’ ‘em out of the park? Nooo… no way. Not without juicing.”

    When asked how he expects to win a reversal with only a rumor as evidence, Mr. Robinson revealed that his investigators had early this morning served a subpoena at a local men’s clothier and obtained records that show phenomenal increases in Mr. Pandori’s hat size.

    “This guy’s gone from a six and three-quarters to an eight. An eight! I should’ve caught it back then. I mean, the guy’s head had gotten so big that when he stood up in court he looked like a Tootsie Pop.”

    Attorney Robinson was not alone in reacting to this morning’s news. We have it on good authority that Mercury News reporter Frederic Tulsky is already on the story, making calls and gathering hat size information on every male prosecutor at the DA’s office. Our source at the Mercury, who must remain anonymous, reported that when a coworker wondered aloud if Karyn Sinunu has to be fitted with a sturdier broom these days, Tulsky reminded him, “Never joke about my sources.”

  9. Fine satire as usual, the best. Should teach the subject at SJ State. But!… this is not funny any more. How can I be legally recieving memo on City letterhead accusing Cortese of possible violations, sent to all members of the Mount Pleasant Neighborhood Association!!!

    Additional note, South Bay Labor Council flier states the following about Mr. Pandori: “Refused to seek our ensorsement; strongly opposes investment in neighborhoods and taxpayer input in development projects.”

  10. Mr. Anything but Pandori. So what does Pandoris’ refusal to seek special interest endorements and Cindy’s massive sea of enforsments say about a candidates focus on the individual? Just compare websites.

  11. I just looked at David web site.  Are there any district 3 neighborhood associations endorsing David?  I didn’t see any.

    I know mine is not.  I guess it’s because the board members and residents remember David’s do-nothing refuse-to-listen push-my-own-agenda regime.  However, I do see neighbors endorsing Cindy.

    If I missed that information on David’s site, would you post the URL?

  12. I have no idea what David is on. . .

    But whatever Dan, Finfan and Malcontent are abusing should certainly be banned.

    Boys, get off the juice, especially as the unseemly result is a constant attack on women.

    Domestic violence, even rhetorically, is never the answer.

  13. Rich, I don’t see where any of those guys are attacking women.  Maybe attacking politicians who invite it or who happen to BE women, but not women in particular.

  14. “Domestic violence?”

    Just when Sir Richard of Robinson finally makes it atop his white horse he falls off and bangs his head with his own lance. Pity the knight errant who errs so publicly. Finfan of the Forest would never diminish the horror and heartbreak of domestic violence by applying the term to a harmless satire or using it for political gain. Sir Richard cheapens the term domestic violence the way the Moorish Idiot cheapens the word racism.

    If you’re looking for fair maidens to protect, Sir R of R, best restrict your quest to Cupertino—Land of Oversize Castles and Delicate Flowers. The females whose honor you seek to defend here are ambitious, calculating, hardball-playing political animals, indistinguishable from those who challenge them. Thus, like their male counterparts, they are fair game—at least for those of us who do not discriminate.

    As for the recommendation that two of us be banned for our posts, that is an outrageous, unconscionable, and inexcusable suggestion. There is no place for censorship here. You should be ashamed!

    That said, if, in the spirit of compromise, one of us has to go, I think it should be Mal.

  15. FF, it’s not you or anyone else RR wants banned, he was talking about the drug he thinks you’re all taking. 

    I’d like to think that even RR finds your posts consistently thought provoking and worth reading and would not wish any of you banned.

  16. I have no idea what Richard Robinson is talking about.  I have not even made a comment here about any candidate.  However it isn’t hard to see that Realty Check, Richard Robinson, and Anybody but Pandori are all the same person.  All Richard Robinson working full time on Ms. Chavez campaign.  I’m wondering why Ms. Chavez puts up with his drivel.  It surely isn’t her campaign style whether you’re for her or against her.  Richard I don’t know where you get the stuff you’re tokin’ on but maybe you should change sources and check your own reality.

  17. Rich #18.
    Attack on women? I think you’ve been reading too many Mothers Day cards, probably at one of those ghastly little shops in Cupertino.
    I do, however, note the sense of utter desperation that’s setting in at the Chavez campaign. Maybe next you’ll have a couple of nitwits accuse Dan, fin fan and myself of holding secret meetings with lobbyists?

    flimflam #22.
    One of your better posts, except for the last line. Please note I refuse to leave without a golden parachute. It’s the Republican way.

  18. I see your all still bickering, dont none of you people have anything better to do then listen to those two halfwits senseless chatter and then dwell on it for the rest of the week, your doing exactly what they want you to do!! Think about it

  19. Cindy keeps skipping debates and candidate fora, and I read today she declined to be interviewed by the Murky News, let alone render her views, with respect to a baseball stadium funded in part by the taxpayers.

    So, RR, is she just gonna remain hidden and mute until June 6 and hope Phaedra’s hordes can get her into the runoff?

  20. #29 she has not responded because she’s a flake,she misses debates for fear of nothing good to say ,and the people of san jose dont want to hear her say “well ron said it was ok “and Mr Sturgis is telling you all the truth, why not listen to him !! and anybody but pandori, whats your problem ,David Pandori is the only person thats running for mayor that does not speak with a forked tongue………..

  21. #28 & 29: With Cindy’s “Don’t ask/Don’t tell” strategy is it any wonder that despite the backing of Labor and the Demo party Chavez is only polling 16% in the Merc poll?
    With Reed at 15% and Cortese at 14% it’s entirely possible that Chavez won’t be around for the November runoff. It would appear that she is sinking fast.

    Oh what a tangled web we weave…

  22. Does anybody have information about the Mardi Gras incident described by a woman in Cindy Chavez’s latest commercial?

    What was happening that required Ms.Chavez to take control of the situation?  Where were the police?  Did Ms. Chavez take command of our trained police officers?  How did Ms. Chavez get the name of the woman in the commercial?  Was she listed as a witness in a police report?

    The Merc should take a deeper look and let us know what really happened.

  23. What happened to all you Pandori cheer leaders? Are you guys just going to forget about the race? What happened to “It’s not over till It’s over”? I seam to recall a comment about getting involved by yelling from the middle of the crowd. Well it’s time to stop yelling and get moving.  I challenge all of you to walk a precint for David Pandori this Saturday. Just be at his campaign headquarters on Saturday morning around 9:00 AM….

  24. Looks like Cindy is adopting another page of the Gonzo playbook. When is the last time Gonzo actually directly answered a question?? His “responses” always flow out of a mouthpiece. Apparently Cindy doesn’t feel she has to answer any questions herself—somebody else can do it.
    Will the voters really let her get away with this game? Lets hope not.

  25. The woman in the video is a City of San Jose employee – Jill Cody, of the Parks, Recreation, and Neighborhood Services.  It is safe to say she didn’t get any beads thrown her way that night.  (I did!)

    But this “heroism” comes as quite a surprise.  At a recent forum, which someone commented on here, Cindy said she watched as neighbor with a chainsaw illegally cutting down a tree on Easter, and all she did was call code enforcement.  She said she felt helpless since all she got was a recording!  Someone, please find that post!

  26. You might be able to search Google to find the post but she didn’t say anything about chainsaws or neighbors.  What she said was

    “I saw someone cutting down a tree on Easter Sunday and all I could do was call and leave a message for code enforcement to follow up.”

    After hearing this, we checked on that Friday and there was no message from the previous Monday about an illegal tree removal and there certainly wasn’t any message from Cindy. 

    The operative word is “could”. 

    Anyone know why she was a no show at the debate tonight?

  27. I’m back—sorry JMO.

    To all, the campaign has officially begun.  Cindy, Cortese and Reed out in front.

    Reed will fade, he actually peaked before the event started.

    Pandori, a real dark horse will stay dark unless he gets some money.  Mulcahy has spent the most, but with spending caps, unless the Chamber comes in big time for him—he is toast.

    The Cortese strategy has been flawless, kudos as usualy to Larry Tramutola.  If Cortese wins, it will be because he got out early.

    The “surprise” is Cindy.  After all the hits she has taken, she still leads.  This is amazing from a political point of view, and I’m not just spinning.

    I expected far worse results for her due the the Mercury News coverage.  Many of you, I assume, were surprised to see her still out in front—or even in the hunt.

    With her resources marshalled, she is in the best position for the stretch run.  Cortese needs to hang on,  Mulcahy needs help on the outside, Reed will fade and Pandori needs to apply the whip early and hard.

    That’s the horse race.

  28. Nice try, Rich. The surprise is that Cindy shows so poorly in this poll. After all the huffing and puffing from her supporters about how she is the savior of the neighborhoods, how she cleans up crime on the streets, how she can run the education system, and how she really isn’t a Gonzales clone, the best she can do is a 1 point lead? Perhaps the electorate is a bit smarter than her supporters. Too soon to tell. They might bite on the expected negative campaign from Cindy. They might not. It won’t be pretty, but if the rest of us are lucky we won’t have Cindy to kick around after June. Then she can devote full time to being on the streets taking care of crime and running the school district.

  29. 34.  I thought that woman looked familiar…but I don’t think she’s a current City of San Jose employee.

    She’s apparently now employed as a Department Head at San Jose State and has her own facilitating business.

    Cody can hardly be considered a simple downtown resident.

    Chavez skipped another mayoral debate.  She must see the writing on the wall. 

    Even if she makes it to the runoff, all the other candidates will through their support to her opponent.

  30. RR # 39:  Just when I thought it was safe to read this blog again, you return from silence and obscurity (Cupertino).

    Your comment about Cindy (“The “surprise” is Cindy.  After all the hits she has taken, she still leads.  This is amazing from a political point of view, and I’m not just spinning.” ) is why you’re a spin doctor.  You spin even while denying you’re spinning.

    The race has been hers to lose since she declared, and she may succeed in losing it.

    Now that you’re back above ground, will Cindy be coming out of hiding anytime soon?

    Will she deign to appear at public fora and debates?  Or will she just turn over the late smear campaign to her handlers (“independent expenditues “all, I presume) and await the outcome?

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