Councilwomen Say Debate Performances Too Good
During a Wednesday press conference, San Jose City Council Members Nora Campos and Nancy Pyle once again grabbed headlines when they accused mayoral candidate David Pandori of engaging in the practice of blood doping before several debates in which his performances seemed “exceptional.”
The alleged “smoking gun” was a picture of Mr. Pandori during one of the debates that showed a mysterious, hypodermic needle-shaped bulge under his suit jacket. “We believe it is obvious from the photos,” said Ms. Pyle, “that Mr. Pandori has on several occasions during mayoral debates, used illicit methods to boost his red blood-cell supply allowing him to express his thoughts clearer and without fatigue.”
“He lapped the field,” said Jim Lehrer of The NewsHour on PBS and mayoral debate moderator. “Put a bat in his hand and I’ll bet he hits one into McCovey Cove.”
According to San Jose State Political Professor Terry Christensen, this type of performance enhancing procedure has been popular with endurance cyclists, but is by no means new to politics. “Oratorical steroids and political blood doping have been around for decades,” he conceded. “President Bush has used them for years. But the side effects are damaging - they include train-of-thought deterioration, lack of clarity, fumbled articulation and prolonged erections.”
Although there is no concrete evidence that Pandori injected himself with erythropoietin, the hormone that stimulates red blood-cell production, many believe that some sort of stimulants were used.
“All this is nonsense,” says David Pandori. “The only thing unusual about my methods is that they require hard work – I thoroughly study the issues, I show up for the debates and I train rigorously by giving long speeches in high altitudes.”