New UCSC Chancellor Claims “Capital of Silicon Valley” Title

San Jose Officials Livid: We Stole It Fair and Square

With the coming out party for new UCSC Chancellor George Blumenthal at the San Jose Museum of Art last week came the disturbing announcement that he was claiming the title “Capital of Silicon Valley” for his granola-munching campus by the coast.

San Jose officials were quick to condemn the pronouncement and immediately sent out press releases politely asking media outlets to continue referring to San Jose as the rightful owner of the title.

“We are sick of having to prove ourselves again and again,” said Paul Krutko with the city’s Office of Economic Development. “We have the biggest downtown, we have a professional sports team and you have to pay for parking. You can’t say that about any other city in Silicon Valley.”

San Jose City Council members have warned that if UCSC does not cease and desist, San Jose would smoke their way into stealing their enviable title of “most stoned campus on the earth.”

“So help me,” said Judy Chirco, “if Chancellor Blumenthal keeps up his baseless claims, we’ll roll thousands of Acapulco Gold spliffs, give them to our residents, and have a smokeout so large we’ll stay stoned, happy and cataract-free until Christmas.”

The San Jose State University Spartans have chosen to stay out of the swapping wars.


  1. little known fact:

    If it weren’t granted the land, the University of California would have put UCSC in the Almaden Valley. Imagine what the Country Club would have thought of that!

  2. So glad UC ended up in Santa Cruz.  An Almaden Valley campus would have likely ended up being a giant day care center like Cal Poly San Luis Obispo is for students from the Big Valley.  I speak from personal experience.

  3. Paper Boy, are you suggesting that we might see a similar struggle to the one between Huntington Beach and Santa Cruz over the claim to the “Surf City” title?

    It would be so painfully predictable to watch our hapless council shrink away should SF decide that IT is the capital of Silicon Valley.  Or even Milpitas for that matter.

  4. How can we be in the running for “Surf City”? No water, unless you consider the surf at Alviso.  This may require a San Jose Economic Development study.  I’m sure Krutko can find a consultant for $100K that could put us in the running for such an honor.

  5. “I’m sure Krutko can find a consultant for $100K that could put us in the running for such an honor.”

    and with $30-50 million some innovative San Jose hitech companies can build a Green 50 foot Big Wave Machine for San Jose Silicon Valley Big Wave Surf Contest at Alviso waterfront  

    It will give San Jose international publicity, coolness bragging rights and new San Jose city motto ” Silicon Valley Surf City “ and new San Jose marketing photos of 50 foot waves on bay off of Alviso

    We can make Mavericks Surf Contest, look like small town occasional event that it is

    Our high tech Green energy solar and windmills powered 50 foot Wave Machine will be show the world San Jose Silicon Valley innovation and produce millions in economic benefit and thousands of jobs,  way more then old smoggy loud Grand Prix   We can pay for it by closing a few community centers, parks and layoff city employees

    San Jose and local company public –private partnerships will showcase their green products and developers will offer city hundreds millions to have rights to develop ” Silicon Valley Surf City Community ” on San Francisco Bay at Alviso

    What hitech “ surfer dude “ will not want to live and work near ” Silicon Valley Surf City Community ” where that can hit the waves during lunch or after work beer bash at the push of Big Wave Machine button

    Think about bragging right for San Jose and local green companies –  Would you rather party at San Jose’s “Silicon Valley Surf City” than work in San Francisco, Austin, Boston or New York “old school tech companies “

    Surfs up Dude, come on down to San Jose –  ” Silicon Valley Surf City”

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