Economy Threatens Alum Rock Albino Casino

Proposition 444 Would Make Albino Enclave Independent Nation

Deep in the heart of Alum Rock Park, a small enclave of un-dead albinos numbering somewhere in the hundreds have been working quietly and diligently, in between the sacrificing of small domestic animals, to gather enough signatures to place a proposition on the ballet that would dramatically change their standard of living by declaring them an “independent political community” preceding pigmented colonization.

So no one was surprised when these albinos emerged from the park with a copy of the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act (IGRA) and a gaggle of high-powered lobbyists.

“We knew it was just a matter of time before this God-forsaken community was taken advantage of,” said one city official. “We are just happy the economy is in the crapper making it unlikely that Proposition 444 will pass.”

In what most experts believe would be a Santana Row-sized casino development in the historic 720-acre park, the albino tribes says it’s just their way of surviving.

“It would only be small bingo parlor,” said one succinct albino with a twinkle in his eye and a small meaty bone in his mouth. “Suckers have no business with their money anyway.”

4 Comments

  1. I just got this in the mail. Something tells me it’s gonna pass.

    Voter Guide: Proposition 444, The Initiative to Save Alum Rock Park

    A YES vote would set aside a significant percentage of the much coveted park land with the intention of protecting it from future purchase and/or exploitation by oil companies, mining interests, and the timber industry. A YES vote would authorize an independent political community, one with historic ties to the area, to oversee the protected land, make decisions on its development, and restore the the park’s popularity as a premier recreational destination.

    A NO vote would maintain the status quo at the grossly underfunded park and provide no additional protection for its rich natural resources.

  2. My neighbor tells me that SJ city hall is built on albino burial grounds.  Anyone know if this is true?  It sure would explain a lot.

    I wonder about my neighbor sometimes so I just wanted to check here first.

  3. As charming as it may be, why is the proposition being placed on the ballet?

    Wouldn’t more people vote for it if it were on the ballot?