John McEnery Wins Third Pulitzer

Accepts Job at New York Times

Just minutes after Columbia University awarded its 93rd Annual Pulitzer Prize in Journalism for Investigative Blogging to SanJoseInside’s own John McEnery IV, the prominent blog site’s featured and most decorated writer accepted a new post as editorial director of the New York Times, effective immediately.

Mr. McEnery will be in charge of all editorial content and will most notably be working alongside Thomas Friedman and Maureen Dowd with his own bi-weekly column.

Easily identifiable by his natty attire, the bounce in his step or perpetual bonhomie, Mr. McEnery is just as comfortable at a slaughterhouse championing farm animal rights as he is at gala social events.
Although he isn’t a tall man, he towers over his contemporaries with his biting sarcasm, quick wit and urbane manner. The shear force of his ides and the poetic cadence of his words leave even the most erudite and accomplished readers gasping for breath.

But because of his genius, there has always been a dark side. He is known to bring troops of monkeys to council meetings, engage in performance art in the middle of major intersections and sleep naked in trees after long nights of hard drinking.

In that vein, his latest Pulitzer comes as a result of his most daring, some would say idiotic, expose. After embedding himself in a local slaughterhouse, Mr. McEnery lived in a “kill box” with diseased chickens, estrus pigs and the rotting corpses of downed cows for several months while in disguise. Unable to turn around in his cage or lay down, he bravely posted a daily blog of his observances while avoiding discovery by the slaughterhouse employees that would mean almost imminent plating in a local restaurant.

Surviving on cattle feed, steroid injections and E. coli shakes, Mr. McEnery elevated himself to a level only attained by a handful of gonzo-journalists before him: Hunter Thompson, Tom Wolff, Norman Mailer and Scott Herhold.

San Jose is truly losing a giant.

7 Comments

  1. “… Mr. McEnery lived in a “kill box” with diseased chickens, estrus pigs and the rotting corpses of downed cows for several months…”

    Are you sure you weren’t embedded within the Board of Supervisors? Your “kill box” sure sounds like Blanca and the gang.

  2. I’m sure the chickens and pigs were not at all appreciative of your writing, but the New York Times is a very different story…Congrats, John, they’re in very good company, you “natty erudite”!

  3. WE’ll miss you great wit and sarcasm in this crazy upside down city of san jose.  Maybe you could write some guest columns for the Mercury.  They dedinitely need some good writers so maybe someday someone will read the merc again. We’ll miss you.

  4. Sad news.
    I know that I and the other 3 regular readers will miss your weekly bloviations.
    Godspeed tiny wordsmith.

    B-Bung

  5. Good thing you didn’t mention spending weekends on the beach tackling innocents with a rubber boat.