Illegally Taught Children Served Up As Beef Substitute
As the U.S. Department of Agriculture was busy trying to replace 143 million pounds of tainted meat reserved for Northern California school districts, the State Legislature was busy trying to figure out what to do with millions of idle California homeschooled children.
“Then it hit us,” said State Assemblyman Jim Beall. “Why not allow the children that continue to be home taught—in egregious disregard to our state laws and with obvious disrespect to those in authority—to be used as meat?”
Not without expectation, Bay Area parents were blindsided by the proposal. “This is outrageous,” yelled Homeschool Parents Union spokesperson, Jan Silverton, at a community rally in front of the State Capital on Wednesday. “First they take away our children’s education, now they want to take away their flanks!”
But with the support of the San Jose Unified School District and State Schools Superintendant Jack O’Connell, the proposal seems unstoppabble.
“It’s serendipity,” said Mr. O’Connell. “The homeschoolers are just sitting home, idly eating corn and chewing on salt blocks, fattening up while our public school children are hungry.”