Lack Of “City” Status Won’t Be A Stumbling Block Says CEO
By announcing its intention of bringing the 2012 Summer Games to its regional shopping center, Santana Row has threatened to make downtown San Jose “redundant.” Donald Wood, CEO of Federal Realty, the parent company of Santana Row, said that if their bid is successful against major cities such as Milan, Hamburg, St. Petersburg, San Diego and Tel Aviv, then downtown “should just fold up its tent.”
“We have everything downtown has and less.” He went on to explain, “What we don’t have is crime, graffiti, litter, public property or Mardi Gras.”
When asked about Santana Row’s 750 page submission, IOC president Jacques Rogge, of Belgium reacted with, “Who?”
“It doesn’t surprise me that they have never heard of Santana Row,” said Paul Krutko, Director of San Jose’s Office of Economic Development. “You’re talking centuries of history when you mention the world-class cities that they’re competing against. For God’s sake they’ve only been open for a year.”
Most point to the negatives that might prevent a smaller venue, such as a mall, from receiving a “hella-bad” or “tight” branding - key code words in the lexicon of the Olympic movement for gaining approval.
“They’re not a city! They don’t have any sporting venues. No major public transportation to and from the site. And they only have one, unisex bathroom!!” announced a befuddled Milan representative.
But supporters say that’s just sour grapes and point to the wonderful selection of restaurants, retailers, and Hummers for sale.
The 23 member team in charge of Santana Row’s Olympic bid are so confidant of their chances to host, they have spent millions of dollars coming up with a mascot. “Platty” is designed in the likes of a platinum American Express card that they say will send economic and financial good will to malls across the globe.
“This is really as selfless an act as you can get,” said Chief Negotiator Stan Berliner.