Proof of Nuclear Program Has City Imposing Sanctions
Immediately after city inspectors stumbled upon uranium enrichment equipment in an underground bunker at the county fairgrounds, the city accused county supervisors of trying to produce weapons of mass destruction, which they say would be used as a threat to influence future negotiations.
Relations between the city and county over tax increment dollars, regional transportation issues and the rights to house the Ron Gonzales mayoral library, have historically been frayed, but are now in danger of being irreparably severed.
Mayoral spokesman David Vossbrink said that the mayor received the shocking news while vacationing in Cancun, whereupon several of his security detail quickly escorted him off the deserted beach—in record time—to a safe house where a command post was established.
The mayor’s first orders were swift, decisive and unilateral, like most of his decisions, with the full support of his government in exile. The terse instructions to impose immediate sanctions against the county were couriered through back channels and undercover operatives to an anxious San Jose City Council, which voted unanimously to implement the mayor’s wishes at once.
A defiant Supervisor Beall insisted that the county had the right to “pursue a peaceful nuclear program” and that “no threats from anyone would deprive us of this right.”
But mayoral henchman, Joe Guerra disagreed. “After taking away the use of the Water Pollution Control Plant, city roads and half of Valley Fair mall,” said Mr. Guerra, “we believe they will end their foolish and dangerous quest to make and possess these weapons of mass destruction. Needless to say, these sanctions are not aimed at the inhabitants and friends of the county, but at ending the terror of this evil regime.”
“Ouch,” responded Mr. Beall.